I treated myself to a trip to the bookstore this evening. I was only gone 2 1/2 hours because that's as long as my little guy can go without eating. But, it's long enough for me to recharge and have "my time."
It's funny because I find myself chomping on the bit to go. I hop in the car and I'm probably driving a tad fast and definitely being a touch impatient when hitting the red lights. These red lights, after all, are cutting into my 2.5 hour time-frame! As anxious as I am to begin "my time," I find that at the end of the 2 or so hours, I'm driving just as fast and impatiently on the way home, ready to be back with my family. I'm feeling refreshed and ready to hit the motherhood trenches again.
Tonight, I came home to find the children tucked into bed, but both wide awake. My daughter quietly clapped and raised her arms above her head in celebration when she saw me walk in the door to our family's bedroom. I bent down and kissed her and she hugged me so tight I almost choked. I'm hit with a familiar feeling: "Nothing tops being a Mom. Nothing."
As I lay in bed nursing my son (We co-sleep and love it--it works for us), my daughter (whose twin bed is only about 6 feet away from ours) and I go through our little wordless, goodnight ritual. I wait until she glances over to us, and then I wave. She pulls her arm out from underneath her quilt and waves back at me, in that cute, child-like: open-whole-hand-and-close-whole-hand fashion. Then I wave at her with just my index finger. She waves back at me with her index finger. I switch to thumb waves, and she does the same. I follow thumb waves with pinky waves. She mimics me. Finally I close with wild waving, using my whole hand and arm. She does the same. We both erupt into hushed giggles, enough to disturb my little man, who pauses from drinking and looks up at me with a smile. He settles back to eating while I blow a kiss to my sweet girl. She happily settles back on her pillow, pulling her quilt tightly under her chin. Even in the darkened room, I can see her smiling ear to ear. These are the moments I cherish. The ones I know I'll always remember. These are the kind of moments I daydreamed about having, if ever the chance came along. My chance is here and I'm not going to waste it. It's nice to get out for a few hours, but the homecoming is the best part.