Reflections on motherhood...

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the moms, moms-to-be, and all women who share and cherish the bond they have with their own mothers or other special women in their lives. It's been a busy few days and I've been away longer than I planned from this space. It's that balance thing again. I just haven't found the correct "tweak" yet! So, for now anyway, it's spotty posting when I can grab a few extra minutes (or hours, when you add up all the choppy time segments it takes for me to complete a post).

I spent Mother's Day with my family. Lots of good food and good company. I marveled at the changes in my little ones and myself since my first Mother's Day several years ago. I feel so abundantly blessed to have these two precious people entrusted to me. This picture is of my oldest baby holding my youngest baby, almost a year ago:

(Note those fists, that seem so permanently clenched when they're so young!)

In this season of my life, I feel so depleted of energy, patience, creativity. It's been a roller coaster ride this past year. So many days I have found myself screaming, "Stop the ride, I want to get off!" But, as quickly as that "swallowed-up, overwhelmed" feeling hits, it passes and I feel at peace again with my place in this world. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, doing anything else, other than raising these children.

My daughter, so full of life and light and imagination. She makes me want to be a stronger woman, a better person. My helper when it comes to anything: cooking, cleaning, entertaining her brother. She brings intensity to everything she does: good and not-so-good! Just like her Mama.

My son, brimming with spirit and persistence. My all-or-nothing boy. Full of curiosity. Always testing and pushing limits (and my sanity, if I'm being honest). He's a charmer who never fails to bring a smile to my face, even (or should I say, especially) when I'm on the verge of tears with frustration. His affection, toward those he loves and trusts, melts my heart.

My children are the marks I want to leave on this world. Sure, I have plans and goals and wishes for myself. But, when it comes down to it, they come first. Always. The way I raise them (through my words and my actions), the things I teach them, the people they become...that is what truly makes my life purposeful.

In the words of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis: "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." It's hard to disagree with that, isn't it? Have a beautiful afternoon everyone!

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